Kaity Kasper

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Posts in scripture
Thirty-Six Hours

“Jesus said ‘I am the way, the truth and the light, no man cometh unto the father but my me’ Gospel of John” [sic]

I knew it was coming, but I still did a tiny double take when John 14:6 popped up as an unrelated comment on an Instagram post of mine from a few weeks back.  That post was of a three card Goddess pull I had made – no God or divinity related hashtags, no reference to Christ or Christianity.  I still can’t figure out why this was the place the comments began.  It was an interesting choice.  Maybe it was selected because in some ways it offered one of those extra layers of anonymity that the Internet allows. 

But I got the point. 

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Do Not Fear

Its been a little while, and there are lots of reasons for that.  I've been juggling being back at work more with an unexpected preliminary read of my post-chemo CT scan.  I will get into that more as I know more, but for now I'll tell you that Dr. McGuire has labeled my disease as "stable" as there appear to be no changes from my mid-point CT and this most recent one. 

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Still I Will Trust You

"For months I have been assuming that it was just other people that I don't trust anymore."  I hear the words coming without really understanding that it is my mouth speaking them.  "So my world keeps getting smaller.  Now, 90% of the time its just me, Hope, and God."

I recognize that I just admitted that I am isolating in front of my sponsor. 

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Are You There God? Its Me, Kaity.

"Okay look, I've been praying the same thing for months now, and while I think I know what you're telling me, I just really need an obvious sign.  So if you wouldn't mind, it would really, really help me if you could just give me a clear signal this one time.  Let me know if I'm hearing you right."

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On Shattering & Gold

"So much happened, almost all at once.  It just seems like its too much for one human to bear."

"It is," she responds, tears in her own eyes.  "Its the only way for us to shatter completely, to really transform.  By God's awful grace in delivering that much pain at one time."

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