Ayurvedic Cleansing 101
Its Been One Year
I really love food.
A very dear friend jokes not infrequently about my diet when we first met. It consisted of cheeseburgers several times a week. Cheeseburgers were (probably still would be if it wasn't for the whole veganish thing) favorite.
I also have a ravenous sweet tooth. And never meet a carb I didn't like.
Breakfast, Body Image, & Rage
“Ugh,” I grumble as I lean closer to the mirror. “I have got to do something about these eyebrows.”
I inherited all the Lebanese traits from my father’s side of the family. The good ones – like a thick, dark head of hair – and the not so good ones – like thick, dark eyebrows.
It’s as if an invisible hand slaps me straight across the cheekbones. I have eyebrows. Eyebrows so thick, dark, and unruly that they need to be maintained yet again.
Dancing With Myself
I know the comment that is coming before it even begins to emerge from his lips.
“That looks . . . healthy”
I am standing in the office kitchen making my breakfast – gluten-free oats with chia seeds, flax seeds, organic berries, nut butter, and almond milk if you are curious what it is that caused such a stir. I’ve been getting these comments from everywhere for months and I still haven’t figured out the correct response. “Thank you” seems insufficient and curt. Admitting I’d rather be looking forward to Chik-Fil-A than brown rice and kale for lunch somehow too brazen. So instead I just give a half-hearted nod and wish that everyone could just forget that I ever got cancer again.
The twelve of us move about the room wildly. There are drums and maracas and other instruments I have never seen before but as they’re passed to me its as if I’ve always played them. At some point I find myself in the middle of everything, bouncing and fist-pumping – a whirling dervish clothed in flannel and spandex and legwarmers.
I can still dance.
The State of Affairs v.3.
I tried to socialize last weekend. Twice.
On Friday night I joined some girlfriends and about a third of the City of Richmond to see the Lumineers. I’ve heard it was a great show, but I really couldn’t tell you. I was preoccupied the entire time by all the hair around me.
I'm in a weird little place right now. The "hopeful halfway". Round three is done and if everything is going according to plan, we are halfway through the hard chemo. All I need to do now is exactly what I've already done - minus the recovery from major surgery so, in theory, it should actually be easier.
To The Guy In The SUV
"Kaity! In here!"
I stopped and tried to locate the sweet little voice, and finally realized it was coming from the car stopped just ahead of Hope and I.
Six Ways to Sunday
Its still not easy being in this body. Maybe I say that a lot. But I really thought by now I'd be used to my reflection. I'm not.
The Cardinal in the Yard
As family legend goes, I bit the doctor once. The pediatrician. When he wanted to give me that super tiny prick test that checks for TB. I wanted nothing to do with his needles, so apparently I just up and bit him.
I still don't like needles.
"I've heard that if a cardinal is in your yard it means that God is visiting you."
We were sitting on the steps to the deck as the faintest veil of rain trickled down on us. She saw him before I did, but it was unmistakeable - there was a cardinal in my yard.