In The Meantime
“So what did you do this weekend?”
I had two issues with answering this question honestly. First, we were tucked in the middle of a crowded coffee shop and I wasn’t sure how prepared I was to be overheard on the subject of how I spent my weekend. Second, the friend asking the question was not only a new friend, but a pastor too. I was treading into completely new territory with him, and I wasn’t entirely sure how the honest answer would go over.
But my tact of choice these days is brutal honesty, so I took a sip of my lavender earl gray, looked him in the eyes and said, “I did a past life regression. I should probably just tell you up front that I’m pretty into ‘woo woo’ things,” my fingers making quotations marks around my head.
“I love ‘woo woo’ things,” he replied without missing a beat. “I think God does too.”
* * *
As I’ve opened the door to more and more avenues of healing, more and more healers have presented themselves to me – including healers pretty local to Richmond. In the space between my trips to Costa Rica and Tucson, I had the chance to do work with two of those healers which, while not healing trips on their own, deserve to be documented here.
* * *
In the ten months I have worked with Ron, at various times energy I have carried to this life from past lives has come to the forefront. While we’ve never done a past life regression, and Ron has never given me in depth details of any of my lives (nor have I asked for such details) he has shared with me that I have had several experiences in past lives of dying alone or being abandoned and left for dead by those I believed loved me.
I’ve never had a huge interest in discovering information about my past lives, despite the fact that I believe in such things. But since my time in Costa Rica, the topic has presented itself repeatedly – which for me is generally a sign that its something worth exploring.
So when a dear sister told me she had an appointment to do a past life regression through means of hypnotherapy at the Edgar Cayce Health Center in Virginia Beach, I figured if the therapist had another appointment that afternoon, I would tag along.
And she did.
So off we went, one Saturday afternoon.
I’m not going to share all of the details of my past life regression here. I will say that it was revealed to me in that journey that Hope has been my dog in a prior life. It was also revealed to me that I was, in fact, left for dead in at least one past life and that Hope was the only creature with me when that life came to an end for me.
So what does this have to do with my cancer or with my healing?
The more I learn about things like my lineage energies or the energy brought with my soul from past lives, the more compassionate I am able to be toward myself. The more loving. I can understand better why I respond to certain situations in the way I do and I can understand why certain fears feel so deeply rooted in my system.
I believe that its only through understanding where we have been that we can truly heal. That we can come to understand how to break generational cycles of pain, addiction, and trauma. Howe we can help move us all a little bit closer to creating heaven here on earth.
So that’s why I believe it matters.
* * *
I keep trying to figure out how to broach the elephant in the blog – the tie between Christianity and this type of healing work. I’ve certainly moved further outside the realm of faith healing and as I travel I find more and more healers who fall outside the space of what many Christians are comfortable with.
But I believe God gave us these varied ways of knowing him. Of healing. I believe that a flaw of structured religion is the way that it tends to limit itself. As my pastor friend said – I believe God loves these types of healing. Its us humans who started taking issue with the things that might be a bit more uncomfortable to sit with and participate in.
* * *
The week after my past life regression, I found myself tucked into a corner of my Richmond shaman’s home, preparing to do some work together. Specifically, she was going to facilitate my journey to meet my agatho demon.
This isn’t the last shamanic journey y’all will be hearing about, but it’s the first one I engaged in. Similar to the past life regression, it involved being lulled into a state of being “1% awake” - this time so that I could be aware of traveling of my subconscious “underworld”. While there, I encountered my agatho demon – the amalgamation of all my fears. The purpose of the quest was to thank that demon for protecting me in a necessary way in the past, to let him know it was no longer needed, and to ask him to join forces with me and the rest of my healing team to help me along this path of healing, rather than stand in the way of my work.
Again – I’m not going to give all the details. But I did encounter my demon. And he was petty agreeable to getting on board and helping me move forward in a true and authentic way. As cliché as it may sound, facing our fears is a critical task as we seek to heal ourselves from all nature of trauma. And I faced mine on this journey
* * *
It wouldn't be until I was driving back into the hills of the Ventana Canyon on my last day in Tucson that I would start to realize how each of these experiences had prepared me for the work I would find there.
But more on that another day.