Kaity Kasper

Blog

The Road Home

It has been just about three weeks since I was told that my cancer is incurable. 

I looked up the definition of incurable recently.  Impossible to cure.  Not curable.  Not likely to be changed.

Hearing these words is never easy, so matter how sure you are about what you’ve been hearing from God.  But God doesn’t ask the easy things.  I mean, I’m pretty sure Abraham was not sold on heading up that mountain with Isaac, but he did it anyway. 

Just about a month ago, we checked my CA125 – the tumor marker number I’ve mentioned a few times before.  It was hovering at 198.  Just a handful of points lower than where it was when I started chemotherapy.  Normal is considered anything under 20.  So mine was a ways away from normal.

But despite this, God was being very clear – I was not to do any more chemotherapy.

What He was guiding me toward were things He has provided us with here on earth.  Eating a vegan diet.  Practicing yoga and returning to my regular meditation and prayer practices.  Intentional reduction of stress.  Time in nature, in water, in the sunshine.  Energy work, crystal healing. 

This was what my body needed He told me.


at first my soul search / started in church / but soon I realized why / that wouldn't work
there was a culprit at the pulpit / stashing cash behind the mantle
plus the chapel couldn't handle / the light from my candle
so I decided to travel east / on a quest and a journey / to find inner peace
cuz the world is a bridge / and the body's on loan

God bless every child / traveling the road home
 

I had made up my mind to head to Floyd YogaJam long before ovarian cancer was even remotely my new reality.  And then its timing made it the perfect goal to cling to – if I could get there, I would be through with chemotherapy.  And then it became the ideal opportunity to reflect on the thing that had been nagging at me ever since I found myself on the receiving end of an incurable diagnosis.

We are killing ourselves with chemotherapy.   With all manner of drugs and toxins that our body does not want or need.  We have become a society where healing has become synonymous with medicating and our bodies are growing tired of it.  Our hearts and our minds and our spirits are growing tired of it.  There has to be another way to really heal.

Lying in the sunshine surrounded by the Floyd mountains and many of the women who loved me through the darkness, I knew what God would have me do.

Find that way.  And bring it home.


I met many great souls / on that old silk road / asked many questions / about the soul
I spoke with yogis, Sufis, swamis / monks in robes

modern mystics who study metaphysics around the globe
learned about the ancient / science and philosophy / yoga, meditation / and mythology
but more than just / purely intellectual

of myself / I became more knowledgeable
I learned to breathe slow / let go of my ego / stay humble and try to see / God in all people
I came to realize that / which we all seek / is the same / happiness & peace
now I pray every day / as I travel this road / may we find our way back / into our own soul
cuz the world is a bridge / and the body's on loan
God bless every child / traveling the road home

 

While my CA125 dropped to 68 and that is amazing, the goal is to drop it to 20 or less.  If we could do that, I could officially declare myself cured.

The incurable would be cured.

My time in Floyd convinced me that the way to do this is through spending time in nature, working with various energetic and spiritual healers, and utilizing the many gifts God gave us in the world to bring my body, heart, and spirit back to the fullness of health. 

I plan to travel to as many places known for their healing powers as I can over the course of the next 18 months.  Call it a pilgrimage.  Call it research.  Call it my own version of Eat, Pray, Love.  I have some ideas and will be starting off with a trip to Sedona, Arizona, in October, but I am intentionally leaving much of my itinerary open.  As we’ve seen in the last five months, God keeps placing the people I need in my path, and I see no reason why He won’t keep doing that.  So I plan to go where He sends me. 

Unfortunately, being diagnosed with any long-term disease brings with a financial burden in our country, and my savings were spent during the surgery and chemotherapy portion of this journey.  So for this second half, I need some help. 

But it won’t just be me you are helping.  It will be each and every person who has healing to do and who I am able to reach as I share my experiences.  Each person who has been told their disease is incurable.  Each person who feels their heart is beyond repair.  Each person who feels at their core that Western medicine is not what they are meant for.

My hope is that after I have healed myself, I can work with others as they embark on their own healing journeys – using my experience to guide them. 

After all – don’t we all need to heal?
 

the road that we're traveling / it keeps unraveling

gotta pay attention / to see what's happening
through the ups and the downs / the highs and the lows  

the ins and the outs / the ebbs and the flows
what's around the corner / man, no one really knows

that why we always have / to stay on our toes
through the twists and the turns / the bends and the curves
each lesson in life / is karma that we burn
I'm just a pilgrim in this world / trying to find my way home

up and down on this road / Lord knows that I've roamed
trying to find my way back / into the heart / into the light / shining right where you are

To support my journey, please follow this link:

https://www.gofundme.com/kaitykasper

cuz the world is a bridge / and the body's on loan
God bless every child / traveling the road home

Lyrics: The Road Home – MC Yogi (feat. Trevor Hall)